"Again..!"

Right at the very top was the hardest rock; right at the highest point required the most difficult moves. Much later I would learn to call such places the crux of it all. It was only our second time though, to climb upon the face of these cliffs, in the midst of our Outward Bound course so many years ago... A cliff that may feel small in perspective now, but way back then it was a towering rock face for us all. It was during our initial day of learning to top rope, to begin to sense what movement means over this medium, to feel the character of the stone, to trust the belay of another, and to experience what it means to trust ourselves more also... Our Instructors were positioned one below by our belay partner and the other at the top of the vertical world in front of us. I had watched my new friends trying to find their best within, and now it was my own turn... The first bit went well while all the later sections were a real struggle. We were learning that we couldn't force it, nor muscle our way past, or even change the route by being frustrated at it. But we did figure the puzzle out, learned to blend with the rock problems, and all exclaimed happily and loudly as we moved over and past them. Then to my surprise, as I had just touched our elusive objective - one of the highest carabiners on this route, the Outward Bound Instructor up there called out: "Again!". 'Again what', I said through my big smile, as he yelled to his partner and my belayer below; then arranged for my lowering. Their intention was to have us grasp for that very moment even more closely, to build immediately upon a success, to instill so clearly for us in the midst of this experience what confidence like this feels like... When I moved through the crux and touched that carabiner the second time, it was now me who asked quietly but so happily, 'Again?'. And again it was, time and time again, for each of us! What had been the crux was now the key, what was once the hardest was now the most fun, where the challenge before seemed daunting now it was powerfully affirming... Now in these distant mountains, as I wrote the first thoughts for this post, and look across at the young ones waiting in anticipation, we each look at the other and laugh loudly as we call out: 'Again!!!'. DSD